**Innate Entitlement Framework™:

Remembering the Right to Exist, Be Met, and Take Up Space

A Personal Reflection

For a long time, I believed that something was wrong with me.

I felt deeply. I noticed everything. I carried responsibility early. I cared intensely about others, often more than I cared about myself. And somewhere along the way, I learned to minimise my needs, question my right to take up space, and feel guilty for wanting more — more rest, more ease, more truth, more life.

Like many people, I grew up adapting.

Adapting to family dynamics.

Adapting to emotional availability.

Adapting to what was expected of me rather than what I felt inside.

Outwardly, I functioned well. Inwardly, there was a quiet but persistent sense of dislocation — as if I was always slightly outside myself, earning my place instead of inhabiting it.

What I did not have, at that time, was a clear sense that my life belonged to me.

When I moved to London, I did not come with a clear plan or a fully formed explanation. But looking back, the statement was unmistakable:

I was claiming the right to have my life for myself.

Not a life shaped by other people’s needs, expectations, fears, or emotional limitations — but a life I could inhabit from the inside.

When I arrived in London, I didn’t speak a word of English. I was in a foreign country, without familiar references, without support systems, and without the ability to explain myself properly. I had no choice but to pay attention — to my body, to my surroundings, to each moment as it unfolded.

Presence was not a practice.

It was survival.

I had to have my own back. I had to listen inwardly. I had to show up — moment by moment — and respond to what was in front of me.

As I learned to stay present, I also learned something equally essential: how to become a boundaried human being. Presence taught me where I ended and where others began. I began to see that other people’s reactions, moods, histories, and expectations were not mine to carry. I did not need to merge with their emotions, identify with their behaviour, or abandon myself in order to stay connected. Boundaries were not walls — they were clarity. And with that clarity came freedom, self-respect, and a deepening sense of inner stability.

Something unexpected happened during that time.

The more present I became, the more grounded I felt.

The more grounded I felt, the less I questioned my right to be here.

Not because life became easier — but because I was finally living my own life.

It took me years of personal work, professional training, and deep listening — to myself and to others — to understand what was really happening:

The struggle was never about confidence, personality, or willpower.

It was about entitlement.

Not entitlement as arrogance or demand, but entitlement as a felt sense of inner permission — the permission to exist, to take up space, to have needs, and to live a life that is truly one’s own.

What I began to see, again and again, in my own life and in my clinical work, was that many adult struggles — people-pleasing, burnout, weak boundaries, resentment, emotional exhaustion — are not character flaws.

They are adaptations to a loss of presence, a loss of boundaries, and a loss of the sense that this life belongs to me.

A loss of the embodied knowing that says:

“I am here — and I have my own back.”

This realisation became the foundation of what I now call the Innate Entitlement Framework™.

At its heart, this framework is not about fixing what is broken.

It is about returning to presence, reclaiming boundaries, and remembering what was always there.

We Are Born with Entitlement — and That Is Healthy

Every human being is born with a natural, unquestioned sense of being allowed to exist.

A newborn does not wonder if they deserve care.

They do not question whether they are too much.

They simply are — and they expect the world to respond.

This is what I call innate entitlement.

It is not entitlement to privilege or superiority.

It is entitlement to being.

A deep, wordless knowing:

• I have the right to exist
• I have the right to take up space
• I have the right to have needs

This entitlement is not taught.

It is part of our human design.

Boundlessness Begins in the Womb

When I speak about boundlessness, I am not speaking symbolically.

I am describing a biological and developmental reality.

Before birth, there is no psychological boundary between the baby and the mother.

In the womb:

• there is no separate self
• no “me” and “you”
• no inside or outside

The baby exists in a state of total physiological and relational boundlessness.

Heartbeat, breath, nourishment, hormones, and emotional states are shared.

The baby does not experience itself as a separate individual — it exists within another living system.

This is not a feeling.

It is a fact of human development.

How Boundaries Are Meant to Form

After birth, separation does not happen all at once.

The nervous system is not designed for sudden independence.

Boundaries are meant to emerge gradually, through relationship.

In early life, the baby still lives within a strong state of boundlessness — not because boundaries are missing, but because they have not yet formed.

They form slowly through repeated experiences of being met:

• being held when distressed
• being fed when hungry
• being soothed when overwhelmed

Each time the world responds appropriately, something important happens inside the child:

“There is me — and there is the world.

And the world responds to me.”

This is how a sense of self takes shape.

Boundaries are not taught.

They are grown.

The Three Layers of Entitlement

In the Innate Entitlement Framework™, entitlement unfolds in three interconnected layers.

Understanding these layers helps explain why boundaries feel easy for some people and painfully difficult for others — and why so many of us struggle with self-worth despite doing “everything right”.

1. Existential Entitlement

The right to exist

This is the most fundamental layer.

Existential entitlement is the felt sense that:

• My life matters
• I am allowed to be here
• I do not need to earn my place

When this layer is supported, we feel grounded in ourselves.

When it is disrupted, we may grow up feeling invisible, unimportant, or as though our existence must be justified.

2. Relational Entitlement

The right to be met

As babies, we depend entirely on others.

Relational entitlement is the expectation that:

• My feelings will be noticed
• My needs will be responded to
• I matter in relationship

When caregivers are emotionally available enough, this entitlement becomes internalised. We learn:

“I am worthy of care and connection.”

This becomes the foundation of healthy relationships, self-trust, and natural boundaries later in life.

3. Egoic Entitlement

A survival adaptation

This is the form of entitlement most often criticised.

Within this framework, egoic entitlement is not a personality flaw.

It is a compensation.

When existential and relational entitlement are not met, the nervous system adapts:

“If I was not allowed to exist or be met naturally, I must demand, control, or overcompensate.”

Egoic entitlement is not arrogance.

It is unmet need.

When Boundlessness Is Not Safely Held

Difficulties arise not because boundlessness exists, but because of what happens within it.

If a child’s early needs are repeatedly missed, ignored, overwhelmed, or reversed — where the child adapts to the caregiver rather than the other way around — the natural development of entitlement and boundaries is disrupted.

The child may grow up:

• overly responsible for others
• unsure of their own needs
• afraid of taking up space
• unclear about where they end and others begin

This is not pathology.

It is intelligent adaptation.

Boundaries Emerge from Entitlement — Not Technique

We often try to learn boundaries as adults.

But boundaries do not come from scripts, strategies, or willpower.

They come from a felt sense of inner entitlement.

When existential and relational entitlement are intact:

• saying no feels clean
• saying yes feels true
• guilt reduces

Boundaries emerge organically, without force.

When entitlement is disrupted, we either collapse and over-give, or become rigid and defensive.

The issue is not skill.

It is permission.

Presence: Where Entitlement Lives

One of the central insights of the Innate Entitlement Framework™ is this:

Entitlement lives in the present moment, in the body — not in beliefs or thoughts.

Through presence, we:

• feel our limits
• sense what is right for us
• self-regulate naturally

This is why healing is not about becoming someone new.

It is about reconnecting with what was always within us.

Entitlement Is Not a Trait — It Is a Condition of Worth

Entitlement is often described as a personality trait.

This framework offers a different understanding.

Entitlement is a condition of worth, shaped by early experience and relational response.

When entitlement is supported, we feel grounded and connected.

When it is disrupted, we adapt.

Nothing is wrong with you.

Coming Home to Yourself

Healing entitlement is not about becoming less entitled.

It is about restoring:

• the right to exist
• the right to be met
• the right to take up space without apology

When innate entitlement is restored:

• boundaries soften and strengthen
• relationships feel lighter
• presence replaces effort

You stop trying to deserve your place in the world.

You simply occupy it.

© 2025 Janaína Mahé

The Innate Entitlement Framework™ is an original theoretical model developed by Janaína Mahé.

This framework, its name, and all associated concepts are the intellectual property of the author.

All rights reserved.