Esperansa Couples Therapy — An Embodied Approach to Emotional Flow & Relational Coherence
Most couples don’t come to therapy because they don’t love each other.
They come because something feels stuck, tense, or disconnected — and talking about it hasn’t helped.
What’s usually happening underneath the conflict?
In my work, I help couples understand conflict in a different way.
Emotions are energy in motion.
When feelings are allowed — felt in the body, named honestly, and expressed safely — they move and change. When emotions are avoided, judged, or suppressed, the energy doesn’t disappear. It becomes held in the nervous system.
In relationships, this held emotional energy often shows up as:
• repeated arguments about small things
• defensiveness or emotional shutdown
• distance, silence, or loss of intimacy
• feeling misunderstood or emotionally alone
• “We keep having the same fight”
Over time, couples stop relating from the present moment and begin reacting from old hurt, fear, and unspoken resentment.
When partners go “offline”
Another common pattern I see is loss of self-connection.
When someone repeatedly says “I’m fine” when they’re not, or says “yes” when their body says “no,” they slowly go out of sync with themselves. I refer to this as going offline.
When people are offline:
• they lose clarity about what they feel and need
• they overthink instead of sensing
• they try to manage the relationship from the mind
• they stop trusting their own inner signals
When one or both partners are disconnected from themselves, genuine connection with each other becomes very difficult.
How Esperansa Couples therapy works with couples
Couples therapy is embodied, relational, and nervous-system informed.
Rather than analysing who is right or wrong, we focus on what is actually happening in the present moment — in the body, in the emotions, and in the relational dynamic.
In our work together, I help couples to:
• slow things down so safety can return
• reconnect with bodily awareness and emotional truth
• express feelings without blame or attack
• understand reactive patterns with compassion
• learn repair that restores closeness and trust
This creates relational coherence — being in tune with yourself and with each other.
You don’t have to be calm to be coherent.
You have to be real.
What changes?
When emotions are allowed to move:
• reactivity reduces
• the body softens
• clarity returns
• intimacy becomes possible again
• repair feels easier than conflict
Relationships don’t collapse because of honest feelings.
They collapse when the truth is avoided for too long.
Esperansa couples offers a space where honesty can exist with safety, and where connection can be rebuilt from the inside out.
If you and your partner feel stuck, distant, or trapped in repeating cycles, couples therapy can help you come back into flow — within yourselves and with each other.
Please get in touch
Alternatively, you can call me on 07449 484819
Feel free to text my mobile number with your name and telephone number and I will phone you back as soon as I am available.
– Janaina
